The Lie Christian Moms Believe About Quiet Time
Hey Mama!
Many Christian moms believe the reason they feel spiritually dry is because they don’t have enough time. Between kids, work, home responsibilities, and the never-ending mental load of motherhood, time with God can feel impossible unless everything is quiet and perfect. Hey we can dream, right? 😆
But what if the problem isn’t time at all?
What if the real issue is the limits we’ve placed on how—and when—we think God can meet us?
As a busy mama of seven, I’ve learned that connection with God doesn’t require ideal circumstances or uninterrupted mornings. It can happen in the small, ordinary moments woven throughout our day. And when we take the limits off, everything changes.
There are a few things I’ve learned (the hard way) in order to spot spiritual dryness, why it happens, and how to go from dry to joy.
Why So Many Christian Moms Feel Spiritually Dry
Why do we get into seasons that feel spiritually dry? Well, normally we wouldn’t go around saying we are “spiritually dry”. More than likely we would say things like “I’m overwhelmed”, “I never have time to do a Bible study”, “I’m feeling discouraged & disconnected”, or “I’m doing so much but still feel empty”.
Have you ever found yourself saying one of those phrases? I sure have. Those are indicators that we are spiritually dry and in need of margin and connection with God.
I’ve reflected back at my own dry seasons of life and realized some key reasons I found myself there. Let’s unpack three reasons why we get into spiritual dry seasons that stood out to me.
First reason - Routine
One is as busy moms, it is so easy to get thrown into the routine and the reaction mode of being a mom. We have all of the things going on - children, household management, work, church, family time, not to mention time with your spouse or yourself.
There's all of these things constantly dividing our attention. Eventually, we are a little bit robotic. We can get into this mode of doing everything, every day, tucking our head down and getting it done. Kind of like a clothes dryer - going round and round in circles, but never going anywhere. This “pushing through” lifestyle will lead us to a spiritually dry season, pretty much every time.
When we get into that mode, we are not living intentionally. We are living reactionary. And, you know, don't get me wrong, sometimes we go through seasons that are very hectic, I understand that. But when we are aware and wise enough to protect our quiet time with God, the One who holds all things together, then in turn, we are held together by Him, and can be full of joy.
So let’s snap out of going through the motions and live intentionally with connection to God and margin in our daily lives. We will be better for it and so will everyone else around us.
Second Reason - Saying “yes” too much
Another reason why we feel dry in our spirits is we decided to say “yes” too much. Our plates are full to the brim with absolutely no breathing room in our schedules because we feel the need to say yes to everything.
I’m a recovering people pleaser, which means I’ve said yes way too much in my life. I wanted people to be happy with me, so I said yes. If I felt like I was going to disappoint someone by saying no, then you bet I was going to say yes, even if it was for the worse for me. That’s not a healthy way to live.
Thankfully, I know the difference between what I need to say yes to and what I need to say no to (most of the time, lol). Maybe you’re not a people pleaser, but we can all overcommit ourselves for other reasons too.
Maybe this season calls for your capacity to shift, so now doing the same amount of “things” on your calendar feels too heavy. You’re having a hard time even keeping your head above water. That’s an invitation to re-evaluate your calendar.
If we are packing our schedules full, maybe of good things, maybe of things that glorify God, but they're not the things that God intends for us to do, then we are going to enter into a spiritually dry season.
When we leave no room for margin in our life and are burning the candle at both ends so to speak, we can't have quiet time with the Lord and we can't connect with Him. Ultimately we can’t hear Him when He tells us to slow down or to shift our schedule so that we can be full of joy and in His presence.
I know you’ve been there too, so let’s agree that we will do our best to keep our calendars aligned with our capacity and our values according to what God is calling us to in this season and just skip over the dry season and stay in His joy, amen?
If you’ve never thought about this or maybe you need a refresh of what your personal and family values are so that you can inform your calendar best and protect your time, I’ve got you covered with a quick printable that you can use. This Discover your Values Guide will help you organize and align your life with where God is calling you in this season.
Third Reason - Unrealistic Expectations
This last reason had me stuck for a while. Having a vision of “quiet time” in our minds that’s unrealistic. We see the picture perfect plan for spending time with Jesus, and it’s even Instagram worthy. You know the one - Bible open, sun peaking through the window, highlighters in a neat row ready to mark the pages as a mystery is revealed to you and the background sings of worship music.
Well, I don't know who wouldn't want to have a quiet time like that with the Lord. However, my busy mama life is not conducive to this vision of quiet time. That is just unrealistic for me in this stage of life.
When I have expectations that are, let's just face it, outside of the realm of possibility, then I've set myself up for failure before I even begin. Because what I'm going to do is try to attain that unrealistic vision, and when I fail, I'm going to be trapped in shame, and guilt, and eventually give up.
When this happened to me, and I was tired of “failing” at my quiet time with the Lord, I felt ashamed for not being able to have my vision of connection with Him, so I just stopped trying. I was at a low point in a season of spiritual dryness. I remember playing with my kids and silently praying to God - How can I do this? I want to connect with You, but I don’t know how with all the craziness going on around me.
I began to believe the lie….
These reasons (and all the other reasons not listed here) lead us to a lie that we somehow started believing without even knowing it.
The Lie About “Quiet Time”
Here’s the lie about spiritual dryness that we’ve let ourselves believe: There must be something wrong with me.
A lie means “used with reference to a situation involving deception or founded on a mistaken impression.” (Definition by Oxford languages.)
The root of all the reasons we feel spiritual dryness is based on a mistaken impression of God that unless we are disciplined enough, aware enough, organized enough, aesthetically pleasing enough, intentional enough, or good enough, then He simply won’t meet us there.
Somewhere along the way, we believed that lie, that perceived limit, even though Scripture tells us the very opposite:
Cast all your cares on Him, for He cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7)
God is close to the brokenhearted. (Psalm 34:18)
Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. (James 4:8)
Come all who are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28-30)
Blessed are those who are poor in Spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God. (Matthew 5:3)
But just like in the Garden of Eden when Eve believed the lie that she was missing out on something, that she wasn’t enough just the way God made her (in perfection I might add), that God wasn’t going to uphold His Word, we are also deceived and believe the lie that we aren’t enough and that God won’t be true to His word for us.
You might think, I would never say that about God. And I know we wouldn’t say that out loud with words. But we say it by our actions - with going through the motions, overfilling our calendars, or our own expectations of how things should look, we are doubting God. We are saying “I need these other things to feel important, or I am so wrapped up in life that I can’t stop and pray to ask what You want for me”. (Ugh, I know it stinks.)
Thankfully we serve a God who won’t quit. He never gives up on us. He quietly whispers truth to our hearts - that He will meet us at our point of need if we would just cry out to Him right in the middle of our busy mama, messy lives.
He wants to be a part of our calendars. He wants us to go to Him with everything. He wants us to submit our day to Him so we aren’t going through the motions, joyless and unfulfilled. He is the God of purpose and joy and He wants to give us that every day! We don’t have to live stuck in a season of spiritual dryness.
Now, if you’re like me, you’re wanting to know how in the world can I work this out practically in my own life? That is exactly what I’m getting to - stolen moments. Let me share my experience with you to better describe what stolen moments are for me.
The Power of Stolen Moments
There’s rarely a day in my life that I have nothing to do. More times than not my list of things to do gets rolled over to the next day because of all the extra things that pop up unexpectedly. Car trouble, sick kids, grocery run for dinner, someone forgot something, or horrible weather, to name a few.
Oh and my dream of waking up super early every morning with my coffee and having post worthy Jesus time, was completely out of sight. Sleepless nights waking up with a baby every 2 hours killed that picture perfect vision.
I believed the lie that I wasn’t enough and doubted that He was going to meet with me. I was just gonna have to figure out a way to get my life together before I could have my quiet time with Him.
After weeks of trying my best to figure out ways to connect with the Lord that was uninterrupted, full of revelation, His presence, prayer & worship, and all the things, I came up short every single time.
I was more discouraged than ever. I felt guilty for not being able to have quiet time the way I thought it needed to be done. I felt shame when I heard of other people’s times of study. What was wrong with me?
Our faithful God whispered the truth to my heart - There wasn’t anything wrong with me. He wanted to meet with me every day and in any moment I could turn my attention to Him, He would be there, always.
That changed everything for me and transformed my quiet time with God! He showed me where I was wasting time: doom scrolling, binge watching, zoning out, or simply unwisely using my time. All of those moments were exactly where I started connecting with God!
Instead of turning on Netflix while I folded laundry, I turned on worship music or a sermon to listen to.
Instead of doom scrolling on social media, I meditated on scripture or opened up the Bible app and let it read to me.
Instead of zoning out, I continued my Bible reading or talked to God in prayer.
Instead of rehearsing the day in my head in the shower, I intentionally prayed and listened to what God was speaking to me.
Any time I could steal away from auto-pilot or zone out mode, I was re-engaging into time with God! The transformation that took place was so refreshing.
What Changed When I Took the Limits Off
I finally felt free to have a different kind of quiet time with God and leave spiritual dryness behind! God shattered the lie that something was wrong with me. I simply needed to choose more time with Him so that He could refresh me and fill me with joy!
Confidence & joy flooded back into my heart. I felt revived, and I also trusted God more. He had proved His word to me once again. Great is His faithfulness!
Spending more time with God was (and still is) filling my cup, and I also wasn’t as drained from the “numbing out” on social media. Less comparison, more confidence, less consumerism, more connection.
So much transformed when the limits came off including serving others more. Staying consistently connected with God helped me align my life and my family’s more in tune with what He was calling me to do. I couldn’t do that before, at least not well. I was too overwhelmed.
You have the opportunity to turn the overwhelm of spiritual dryness into a refreshing well of joy.
An Invitation to Live With Grace, Not Guilt
Now is your time to take off the perceived limits and stop believing the lie of the enemy that there’s something wrong with you. You don’t have to say yes to everything or overfill your calendar, or even live up to your own expectations.
God meets us where we are and receives us just as we are. He longs to spend time with us, in the messy, chaotic, stolen moments that we have in this season. He wants us to give Him what we have so He can bless it, help us navigate this life, and give us joy.
Let’s pray:
God, thank you so much for loving me enough to never give up on me. Thank you for being patient with me while I took a little longer to tune into your voice. Please forgive me for making excuses and believing the lie that there was something wrong with me. Thank you for taking my calendar and stolen moments and doing what only you can do - refresh my soul. I love you and praise you, in Jesus name, amen.
